It has been a long cold winter. Some how those days of freezing temps and piles of dirty white stuff shoved up along the sides of the road had managed to change people. Change me! Winter is not always the easiest time of year. We come off the holidays full of expectations and hustle and bustle. We spend time with people we may not have seen since the last holiday. We set expectations or have them impressed upon us. Then we move into the resolution part of the year. With cold and now and new year do’s and do not’s to accomplish goals we should have been striving for all year through, we walk into a new year hopefully optimistic or is it prepping for disappointment? Either way, the cold dogs days of winter have a tendency to zap us of our joy and gratitude attitude. We lose sight. I lost sight. I can easily get lost in the stuff of life that I forget the things I am grateful for. I forget that if I turn my sights off those things I start to see the dirty piles of snow instead of seeing the sun through the clouds.
This weekend I had a 3 day re group session. Half way through I realized I could have used a 6 day and that is when it hit me. Where I slipped back into old patterns is when I stopped seeing and being grateful for the small steps, the little things, and in some cases the big things. They are there it is just sometimes we sell out to the easier to grumble then be grateful band wagon. I don’t think we plan to. I know I didn’t. Yet here I am, there I was.
So with that! I grabbed out my gratitude journal. I dusted of the Word. That I sometimes pull out but have not daily been partaking, to dust off the corners of my mind and re arrange the furniture of my heart. To redirect and refresh and erase the statistic lines that were being written as yet another year threatened to beg for failed resolutions and expectations. The proverbial white towel? Just as I was about to throw it in I started to clean. My heart, my mind, my house. With each wipe I realized, this is where I win. This is where I take the things that have always (see there I go), that used to distract me and not just pack them away put throw them away.
A new throw pillow here. Lighter brighter painting here. A little burst of color here and a little more there.
It is in the placement of those things for which I am grateful that I can change the color of my day. The content of my mind will cause a change in the out put of my mouth resulting in a change in the out put of my life. It is in the changing of my thoughts that I create a new day. For as I reminded myself this weekend, I am what I eat. Figuratively and literally. 5 things of gratitude a day mean 5 positive things of attitude which means 5 more right choices, 5 more ah ha moments, 5 more memories, 5 more minutes of living a life that I was designed to life.
There are many lies I have come to believe in my life and thank God I have been set free from the things that threatened to destroy me. I have tasted the freedom that comes when God shines His truth on those lies and I can see clearly the situation, myself, or whatever it is, as He sees. There are times though when, if I am not guarding my heart and my mind, when if I am not taking every thought captive, I can feel the fiery darts of self-doubt and lies attacking my mind. It is in those moments, in that 10 second window, where I make a decision to stand my ground. To make sure the enemy knows I have been set free. The yolk, the chains, the lies no longer have me in bondage. It is not that I won’t face fears and the lies. They are going to come my way! The truth is they have lost their power. And I am set Free!
That is the title of my blog and the title of the message I listened to from TD Jakes this past Monday. (click on it for the service- stick with it and get to the message you won’t be sorry)
SO my blog today may be a little lengthy in that I want to share with you where I am but also my notes and thoughts on this message that, as I have listened to it over and over again, has started to change me on the inside. (my default settings)
My life is not unlike others. I struggle with all the same things. It hasn’t been easy but, who ever said it would be! This past few years have been especially difficult and I have shared on many occasions on various things touching my life. Even as I…
WOW! I can not even believe how long it has been since I set down to write. Has it really been since February 2013? So much has happened. February 2013 found me taking care of my then 18 year old son who broke his arm in two above the elbow in a dune buggy accident. That is where I remember life getting too crazy to write. There would be no real way to share all the craziness of two years but, I am back! I am now a grandmother of two amazing little ones. Aubrey who is about to turn ONE and is my little princess. Jeremiah is right behind her and will be one in April! He is my little prince. They have taught my heart a new level of love I never even knew existed. I have graduated Kody from high school and have ushered Brett into his Freshman year. I have started a new career and with that made some incredible new friends. I am in a better place then I have ever been. SO many more exciting things I could tell you! Too much to even try to recapture and explain! So for tonight it will suffice to say- I step boldly into 2015 and look forward to getting back to my writing.
I was going to blog tonight but I think it is safer for anyone that might read this if I decline to comment on the many very frustrating aspects of my day! I am going to bed now and after a much-needed nights sleep with no drama ( I pray) maybe tomorrow I can resume some part of my life.
Been awhile since I did more than a quick post from my phone. Though I am actually logged in tonight I am not quite in a place where I am ready to really write. I am recovering from feeling like death warmed over and still not myself. I am exhausted and emotionally feel like I have been ran over. I can’t quite explain that either. I mean I can, but, I probably won’t. I am stuck and feeling like I am going through motions. I know what I would like to do, but, I probably won’t. On that note I need to go back to some basics. Some things I know pull me out of this place. I need a new direction. I need ………to catch my breath!