Do Kind Things

It costs nothing to be kind.

There are days when I hear myself say, “Sell real eta tar they say! It will be fun they say!”

It’s been a week. When you look at the clock and it should be 10 PM but it’s 1 PM lawd you know it’s been a week. As I struggle to wrap my head around our crazy market and several deals with crazy moving parts I see a post in a Mastermind group to which I belong. A kind reminder that this crazy market will change, and left behind will be the people with whom you must continue to work that you have treated like garbage all for the sake of getting rich!

The “deal” isn’t worth being a jerk. It’s not work having no compassion or grace. It doesn’t make you look good to your side of the transaction or to anyone. This goes for any profession not just real estate.

Be kind. Be humble. Speak like you want to be spoken to. Pause. Think! Don’t react! Act with professional grace and see if you can’t for a brief moment remember what it might just be like to be in the other persons shoes. Reflect on a time you weren’t so perfect and poised and never made a mistake!

Don’t sell others souls to make you look better or make them look little.

When all is said and done people will remember who you show them you are. You won’t be able to take that back.

Do better.

Or be quiet

Me

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Being the change starts with me. I have journaled this many times before. Truly though after yesterdays reading I can not stop thinking about what it looks like to really Change The Room!

Photo Credit

I was driving down the road headed to finish out my errands and get back to prepare for training. I realized with a quick glance in the rear view mirror my face displayed anything but joy and happiness. It wasn’t that I was mad or even frustrated I was just deep in thought and trying to stay 6 steps ahead. This year I have been working on multi tasking but in this moment I realized I was so busy being productive and foreword thinking I looked like a pissed off bumble bee. A deep breath and a relaxing of my face result in me literally feeling my ears rise, my neck relax and a smile replaced my whatever it was face from a few minutes ago.

Later in the day walking in the door I walked in to someone else’s mood. They had their own things happening and within minutes the temperature of my own mood began to change. Enter a rereading of the days email from Dean. I can change the room. So I proceeded to be present, to listen and just BE. Not a thousand question probe into “why you mad bruh” but a different approach. I laughed about a memory we had shared. I talked about an event coming up and made a plan to steal away a few hours over the weekend to window shop. I wasn’t trying to distract from their current condition or push it down or aside. I was however aware that I was wearing an emotion I couldn’t even identify within minutes of walking in the door.

It happens quite often. Probably more than any of us care to realize. Ever been in line at the grocery story and the person in front of you is being a jerk or the cashier is rude or the kids around you start screaming or… insert a host of times you walk in to a mood that changes yours.

What if in those moments we found a way to change the room? I don’t subscribe to the thought that one person can not move a mountain or make a change. It isn’t about imposing my will or shoving my ideas down people’s throats. I think its about being an influencer, being a new trend setter, being a pioneer and doing it. Setting out alone and just doing it for ME. For my peace of mind. For my better world.

Change the room!

It’s a challenge. Today change the room and then come back, share.

Change the Room

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So I have to totally share this email that I got today. I receive motivational emails from Dean Storer that challenge me. Today’s email went like this

“If you want to be a leader, you should aim to be a thermostat, not a thermometer. You know the difference: thermometers tell us the temperature and thermostats regulate temperature. So, why is it important to be one instead of the other?

It’s easy enough to tell the temperature, anyone can do it with the right tools. The janitor can do it, the new trainee can do it, the receptionist can do it.

Now, let’s switch things up a bit. If there is some sort of a problem or issue, anyone can see that it’s a problem. At work, when things get super busy or hectic, everyone at the office can see that work’s busy.

That’s the thermometer doing the talking. But you’re a leader, so be a thermostat to create change.

Change people’s expectations, their perspective, or even their morale levels. If there’s a problem, find a solution. If there are challenges, rally the troops. If work’s busy, attack it with enthusiasm and passion. You’re the leader, so don’t be impacted by your surroundings, change them.

I can feel things starting to warm up already!”

I do not know about you but this was one for journaling, a meal in an email. Something to chew on and really wrap my brain around.

be a thermostat to create change.

So many times we get so comfortable. We get so stuck in routine or lists, stuck in expectations or lack thereof. We begin to become our environment instead of impacting change. I know that is where I was last year. My husbands accident was the catalyst to move me out of my comfort zone. Making that change woke something in me. A desire to find solutions, to attack with enthusiasm and passion. I don’t want to be impacted by my surroundings I want to CHANGE them. To do that I needed to stop letting my life be a result of the temperature setting of the room and start setting the temperature in the room. I needed to be the thermostat to create change. As a thermometer I was good at finding solutions and presenting ideas but as a thermostat I set the temp, the tone. I challenged my own self this evening to step outside myself and create change. Trust myself and do what I know I can do.

I’m about to change the room.

Pause

Going to pause tonight a reflect. Short and sweet!

Stop measuring – pour

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Today’s devotion spoke to me at a place I find myself on occasion. Struggling with measuring up or being good enough has always been a thing.

In today’s Proverbs 31 Devotion the author shares: “If Jesus had a measuring cup, it would be larger than the universe and brimming full. His worth is beyond compare, yet He didn’t concern Himself with proving it. Instead, He “… emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, … becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:7-8, ESV). For our sakes, Jesus took His measuring cup and turned it upside down. With the most extravagant humility the world has ever known, He “… poured out his soul to death …” (Isaiah 53:12, ESV). And because He did so, God lifted Him up and gave Him “the name that is above every name” (Philippians 2:9b).”

“How do I measure up? is the wrong question. Our Jesus has taught us a better one. One that leads to Kingdom greatness!

When I enter a room full of people and ask, How can I pour myself out? my attention naturally turns to the spout, not the lines. My measuring cup’s contents take on new purpose if I’m looking for ways to serve, and keeping my distance makes no sense if I’m getting ready to pour. But here’s the best part: When I tip my cup to one side, the lines become irrelevant. They don’t matter anymore — and this sets me free.

If Jesus had a photo with His disciples, I think He would lean in and examine it closely, but not to measure and compare. He’d be smiling, remembering how He had invested in each of their lives. He loved them. He knew them personally. He emptied Himself to serve each one. That’s the kind of friend I want to be.”

What a fresh perspective on a life time problem of measuring myself by the wrong things. I took the measuring cup from the cabinet as I cooked dinner. Never really thought about the value of what I was pouring out being so much more then the lines.

No to do today

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There are just some days that call for nothingness. Sunday is a day to recharge, refill, refuel and rest. Spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Self care is an investment not an expense! Investing in our wellness in these areas is mandatory. I decided this year to strive to make Sunday a true day of rest, weighing what needs to be done and what must be done and giving myself permission to let things wait. It’s helped me too that I spend each evening preparing for the day ahead. Giving myself permission on Sunday to let it go has been so much easier then I thought. Best part, the world didn’t end because my laundry wasn’t folded and people actually understand I’m not available. Freeing the day to not have a calendar of events has been the best feeling and rewarding in ways I never truly realized. So for now it’s back to my puzzle and a hot cup of tea! For a Sunday well spent brings a week of content.

Broken hearted

My sweet friend Kathy’s rose

My heart is broken today. I woke up and went about my morning and as I sat down with my coffee to check my emails and social media I saw a post. I read it a dozen times I am sure. My sweet friend of 26 years has passed away. My heart hurts. We were friends, neighbors, we shared many highs and lows, walked through divorce and remarriage, laughs and tears, we shared stories and prayers. She’s gone. I have spent hours looking through memories, reading messages, looking at photos. The heaviness I feel is overwhelming. She leaves behind her two precious children. Our kids spend more hours playing then I can count. Her son and my Kris inseparable buddies growing up. These tears just flow and I wish for a way to ease the searing pain I know they are feeling. Her husband and his daughters.

Life is so short. The last time I hugged my friend was in the hospital while my husband recovered in July after his horrible accident. I wish I would have talked to her this last few weeks. It’s been weeks but no matter the time between calls our friendship was one of those that you just picked up where you left off.

I’m listening to the sweet violin and I’m thankful for my sweet friend Kathy that taught those in her world the love of music and made lives brighter!! I’m remembering the sweet times of fellowship, cooking together, laughing, sitting for Hours on the swing in our yard watching the kids play kick ball and survivor!! The delicious cakes and cupcakes she would bake with her talent in the kitchen making many of our celebrations so precious.

I’m imaging her in heaven today – wow the music she’s playing with the angels in front of our Heavenly Father!

I’ll see you again my friend 🦋

Do Better

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I took to writing early today. Penning a letter I should have written a few years ago. Instead, I had internalized my frustration with someone’s behaviors and didn’t have the courage to address it. Wasn’t even sure I had the right to or that it was my place. Instead, I let it fester and then, in a serious if unfortunate and frustrating events, I snapped. My emotions so raw I could taste them. I could hardly calm down. Truth moment : I could visualize myself punching this person right in the mouth! No grace there huh?

Letter written. Letter sent. Within 10 minutes my phone was ringing. The intended recipient had read my letter and was calling to digest it- together. He wasn’t mad, he was thoughtful and introspective and together we talked though some real issues surrounding the things I poured in that page. He didn’t take at me or even to me but with me. Big difference.

I have always been afraid to express my thoughts and feelings. I struggle to know my place (reality) my, my preconceived place ( because it makes “you” happier or more comfortable). I struggle to assign value to the things I think and feel. I filter them instead through that which will make everyone else’s lives easier, less confrontational and within controllable limits so as to not upset what one feels “entitled” to or has become accustomed too. I think and dare say, overthink. I minimize and can tend to find excuses. If I am honest it’s been more a knee jerk reaction to the voices that always have had a better way, a way it could have and should been have done or a way I could have done something or should have behaved. Even if there was a portion of truth to their commentary my mind clamped down like a bear trap and up went a shield of protection. The rest of the conversation like the teacher in the Peanuts cartoon bantering with unintelligible mumbles.

Today as we talked I shared. I listened and wasn’t afraid. I was in a place where I had nothing to lose. I spent the last few years in a place because I gave my word I would do something even after no one else upheld their end of the deal and was miserable. Walking from that was a healthy right choice. Today was no different. I have to learn to do better. To be better. For me and for those who won’t find a voice. That goes for big and small things like today. It wasn’t earth shattering but it was speaking up for what’s right and setting the littleness and bullying down and applying real truth to it.

We have a chance daily to do better and to be better. All around us are opportunities. What we have to lose by not taking those opportunities is ourselves. It’s either losing who we are or who we were and are meant to be.

It’s not about perfection. We will be guilty of doing a lot of the same things ourselves that we hate seeing others do. We will mess up and we will open mount and insert foot. We will have a secret sin when we do openly voice our own opinions about someone else’s that are on display. We will wear our own scarlet letters buried under layers. How we decide to use those things as we walk out our door or in our homes as we interact with others will speak volumes.

Join me

Do better !

Pause

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Last night and today I’ve struggled, struggled with insensitive people. We live in a world where people think they can treat others however they feel. Small, disrespectful and rude people give no pause or hesitation to what comes out of their mouth and the way they treat others.

It takes a moment to think before you speak. However, for the little person who feels like in order to be big they have to be alittle, berate, blame, and bully it wouldn’t matter if they spent a lifetime pausing. They do not know how to be kind.

There comes a time when you don’t take it anymore. There comes a time when people see them for who they really are. There comes a time when you value yourself more then to allow these type of people head space or land rights!

Surround yourself with those who make you a better you! Encourage and lift up those who do the same. Be better! Do better! Think!!!

High Road

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Ever get a text, read it and before you know it your fingers are flying and your about to hit send when you get that twinge and erase, rewrite and again something stops you? That’s me! Today I have spent more time stopping myself from reactions. Processing through what I want to say, what I’m typing and what I really should or shouldn’t say at all.

Know your audience screams in my head. Know that not everyone thinks like me or surely they would not have just said that to me, behaved that way, acted the fool. All the things I know play in high speed. Lord love my husband because he sits as I say many of the things I wish I could type and he listens as I talk myself off the “send” button and decompress.

There is power in controlling my responses. For once words are typed or spoken they cannot be undone and wheels start turning that create a whole new thing.

Lesson for today … step away from the keyboard and breathe