Its been along time since I’ve seen your face…

I know… Its been along time… Again… No excuses.  One 4 letter word will explain it all: Life!

But that is just it.  Life happens to everyone.  I think some times though it’s easier to get frustrated at what others do not do and not see or know what might be happening in their life. We can easily get our feelings hurt.  We all have things. For me, I learned that my personal mental health and wellness can’t be wrapped up in what others are assuming I intend or mean by what I do or do not do or by what I am included or not included in.  I had a friend earlier this year that seems to have stopped being my friend, hurt by not getting invited to something that I hosted.  I meant no ill will however, as my husband and I were talking about it he reminded me that I/we had been invited only to special events by this person.  We had never been invited to dinner or to come hang out “just because”.  I started thinking about it more. I have a lot of family and friends.  My phone doesn’t ring with a hey just checking on you call or just to see how my day or week is going with any regularity.  My text messages aren’t filled with little catching up or touching base messages.  I don’t always know what is happening until I see the world of social media get an update too. But that is okay. My life is crazy busy and I assume others are too.  I no longer get hurt because I too have other friends, get busy and just sometimes go weeks or months without coming up for air.

And to kick the hornets nest we all have gotten comfortable hiding behind texts and social media.  Maybe hiding isn’t the right word. But if we are honest its easier to drop an update or quick emoji or text then take the time to connect.  Are we asking , hey is there a good night for you to come for dinner? How about grabbing a cup of coffee?

After all isn’t connecting what we want? Can we really be upset when we don’t get the responses or engagement we think we should when we ourselves haven’t invested in the relationship?

A few of us were discussing this the other night about the strain in relation to family dynamics with absent parents and extended family  who then get hurt when special times role around but they haven’t tried to build a relationship the other 360 days in the year.  Isn’t it okay to say look, you don’t call me either or say hey what’s up? Isn’t it okay to say Hey you missed some things that mattered to me too ?  Isn’t it okay to say that what matters to me and my personal and mental well being are just as important?  That I too have LIFE that happens and maybe just maybe its not always a dig or throwing shade or whatever it is you assume.  IF we are honest that is…

Everyone does life and it won’t always look like we think it should but that is because its their life. It is shaped by the way they react to things going on in their past, present or what they perceive is to come.  It doesn’t have to look like mine.  It surely won’t look like mine. That sure can be hard but, that is okay.

And yes… I know … you might sit there saying “will if it was important” or “if I was important” or “that’s excuses”.  Challenge yourself – do you do the very things with regularity that you are frustrated with someone else for not doing? I know I sure don’t.  Days go by in a blur of routine that turns into weeks and months without real connection until the next birthday or holiday.  Just maybe that is all it is. If there is more to it well then don’t we have to start by examining ourselves first, honestly?

Personal reflection : I started this year with the word Intentional as my word for 2019.  It was supposed to look different then it has turned out. That word took on a new meaning for me this year and I have been coping and handling the best that I can.  What I thought “intentional” would mean morphed.  I think I will hold on to the word for 2020. I have a feeling there is a lot more to learn and ways to grow and if I needed a year to just realize the lessons I learned this year then I wouldn’t change a thing.  I am doing the best I can.

Living my best life.

Strong Winds

Exodus 10:19

Bible Rank: 8,423

And the LORD changed the wind to a very strong west wind, which caught up the locusts and carried them into the Red Sea. Not a locust was left anywhere in Egypt. NIV

“And the Lord changed the wind!”

This passage speaks to me. I have a Heavenly Father that knows what the “locusts” have eaten away. He knows and sees what the consequences and storms have damaged. He knows me and sees my enemies, the things threatening me. He brings the wind!

“And not a locust was left”

It’s a promise and a reminder that HE has got this!

I woke up to the wind howling all night. I tossed and turned listening to the trees strain. A strong northwest wind making hurricane like conditions is bringing havoc to the eastern United States. Yet when I woke and the winds still howled the sun is shining so bright! A cold strong wind blows.

I reread the words God has brought me! “A strong west wind … and not a locust was left”

Hear me now! Man might mean harm but I am a child of the living God who’s breath and touch and hand can move mountains, divide seas, scatter locusts and my enemies! My family stands under that umbrella of protection ! The wind might threaten to twist and bend and break but NO!

Today I say BLOW wind BLOWWWWWW

Lord You take all that is wrong and rising against and make it right! ON you IN you I will stand my ground! My hope our hope is in You!

O Lord plays on the radio and today the Nwest wind blows!

Locusts – YOU don’t stand a chance against My God!

West Wind:

In Palestine the west wind is the most common. It comes from the sea and carries the moisture which condenses to form clouds, as it is turned upward by the mountains, to the cooler layers of the atmosphere. If the temperature reached is cool enough the cloud condenses and rain falls. Elijah looked toward the West for the “small cloud,” and soon “the heavens grew black with clouds and wind” (1 Kings 18:44). “When ye see a cloud rising in the west, straightway ye say, There cometh a shower; and so it cometh to pass” (Luke 12:54).

4. North Wind:

The north wind is usually a strong, continuous wind blowing down from the northern hills, and while it is cool it always “drives away rain,” as correctly stated in Proverbs 25:23, the King James Version; yet it is a disagreeable wind, and often causes headache and fever.

Let’s get real

Some days my journal leads me to blog! Getting quiet for a long period of time for me is either the result of a busy life or the fact I need to process what is going on. That process can take a hot minute as normally the first filter is my own human flawed response. Then comes the filter of the Word, what God impresses on me as I surrender the issues at hand. Sometimes phase 1 (the me getting out of my own head phase) only lasts a few minutes or seconds even. Other times it moves slightly into phase 2 where God and I talk through what I see and am experiencing in the physical and apply what He is impressing on my heart and what His word says.

A little deeper: I totally realize and recognize that when I start to pray and really let my life line up with where God wants me now and wants to take me things will happen. I am not one that believes in perfect Christian life. That’s fake news! I do know that my walk and faith is like body armor ( see Eph 6) and that when I was given this armor to wear as I walk towards filling that God shaped hole We all were born with and then walking the purpose I was created for.

So that leads me to where I am in my quietness right now! I’m currently conversing with God “hot and heavy” as I struggle with the things I see and feel happening, what I have experienced in my “story” as a result of similar people, events, feelings and stressors before, and where I am now. Knowing that the old me would say “the hell with all of it I can walk my faith with out this mess” and the struggle to not give in and walk away! Reconciling all that to what I know God has impressed on us to accomplish and do! Knowing that the years the “locusts ate away” HE is restoring each day! I know that the enemy has his minions that are so eaten up with hate and discontent, the minions that are “well meaning citizens just looking out for the good” that live in Glass Houses just waiting to find the next thing to complain about. Reconciling that my GOD is bigger!

Yesterday I could have snapped and lost it. I throw my hands up and was ready to be done. Completely done but with that feeling came knowing this kind of done leads to a hear hardening! My anger was off the charts mixed with hurt feelings and a lack of trust! I quieted my heart, cried some serious tears and remembered : my GOD loves me, loves my husband, my family, my friends that love us like family. My God knows our story! He too was falsely accused. He too paid a price. He too stood in the crowd of people defending someone when the haters stood there with their stones and self righteous attitudes and reminded them

Last night I considered having truck loads of stones delivered to certain people’s homes! I contemplated passing them out to those people who smile to your face and gossip and spread lies behind your back. Who have no clue what the hell they are talking about and live in a graceless life where they categorize sins to make their own crap not smell so sickening, with tongue in cheek as they stir the pot and spread strive.

Then I realized He has never left us! We have waked through consequences, contempt, pure hell and here we are! He is and has faithfully restored because we live our life for and in Him! We have lived for over a decade doing the next right thing! We haven’t lived easy but we have lived faithful.

I went to bed drained and weary and laid awake for hours continually laying down the things I keep wanting to pick up! Surrendering them to the Lord because only He can quiet this “storm”. I woke with my dear sister from another mother sending me this ”

Don’t call everything a conspiracy, like they do, and don’t live in dread of what frightens them. Make the Lord of Heaven’s Armies holy in your life. He is the one you should fear. He is the one who should make you tremble. He will keep you safe. But to Israel and Judah he will be a stone that makes people stumble, a rock that makes them fall. And for the people of Jerusalem he will be a trap and a snare. Many will stumble and fall, never to rise again. They will be snared and captured.” Preserve the teaching of God; entrust his instructions to those who follow me. I will wait for the Lord , who has turned away from the descendants of Jacob. I will put my hope in him.

Isaiah 8:12‭-‬17 NLT

That text pulled me right out of the shopping cart for stone haulers and right back to the glorious reminder that GOD has even this (again) and I will put my hope in Him!

So stone throwers in my life that think you know when you have no clue what or who or where we are …. do not choke on your stones! Look around you for the wolf is dressed as a sheep and those that you desire to persecute might just be living a GRACE filled life walking with the Lord doing exactly what HE has called them to do! I will let go and let Him deal with your hateful and hurtful heart!

And Lord help me today help us today as we keep our eyes fixed on you and you alone! As we continue to run our lives through Your hands and seek you first! As we continue to tithe is our time or money and our talent. As we continue to trust and walk with you! Forgive my flaw and anger and help me to continue to be real in my relationship with you and others.

Here to stay !!!!! ( sorry Not sorry)

Diggin’ in

Love when I write a blog post and it disappears. Well since this post is all about perspective, maybe it deleted for a reason.

SO as I am diving in to the work perspective I am sure being challenged to run the things I am experiencing through the looking-glass of God’s word.  Of HIS plan for us and the things were are dealing with in our life.

I came across a great article from Rick Warren written years ago, Develop God’s Perspective On Life 

He says “Perspective is understanding something because you see things from a larger frame of reference. It is the ability to perceive how things are interrelated and then judge their comparative importance.

In a spiritual sense, it means seeing life from God’s point of view. In the Bible, the words “understanding,” “wisdom,” and “discernment” all have to do with perspective. The opposite of perspective is “hardness of heart,” “blinded,” and “dullness.”

Psalm 103:7 says, “He [God] made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel” (NIV).The people of Israel got to see what God did, but Moses got to understand why God did it. This is the difference between knowledge and perspective. Knowledge is learning what God has said and done. Perspective is understanding why God said it or did it.”

He goes on to say “Perspective answers the “why” questions of life.”  That excites me.

My husband and I have talked about this a lot as of late.  The things we have been through and how amazing the hand of GOD has been to see us through.  Now that doesn’t mean for a second it has been an easy ride or that He took us around some of the consequences WE created for ourselves.  What it does mean and has meant is that we can see and understand WHY certain things have happened.

This morning things were a little stressful.  Nothing major but with a series of uncontrollable events things have been like a giant game of Catch up as of late.  Day 5 being snowed in and so forth and so on we just feel overwhelmed.  In that moment we all stopped and prayed. Asking the LORD to take control and that might just mean some big changes for 2018.  Inviting God to show me the why’s and help me to have a fresh perspective each day has been eye-opening.

In this article it Rick talks about how perspective helps us:

Perspective helps us resist temptation. When we look at a situation from God’s viewpoint, we realize the long-term consequences of sin are greater than any short-term pleasure sin might provide. Without perspective we follow our own natural inclinations. “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 14:12 NIV).

Perspective helps us handle trials. When we have God’s perspective on life we realize that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28) and that “the testing of your faith develops perseverance” (James 1:3). Perspective was one of the reasons Jesus was able to endure the cross (Hebrews 12:2). He looked past the pain to the joy that was set before him.

Perspective protects us from error. If there was ever a time that Christians need to be grounded in the truth, it is today. Pluralism has created a very confused culture. The problem is not that our culture believes nothing but that it believes everything. Perspective is the antidote.

When believers, new and mature, are given both knowledge and perspective, the result is rock solid: “Then we will no longer be like children, forever changing our minds about what we believe because someone has told us something different or has cleverly lied to us and made the lie sound like the truth” (Ephesians 4:14 LB).

It is like we learned in recovery, playing the tape all the way through.  Inviting God from the very beginning and every step a long the way.

Diggin’ in right where I am…

 

Jeremiah 29:11 “ For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Read more at http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2015/06/29/top-7-bible-verses-to-improve-your-perspective-on-life/#HFCtsb89HH61t0ip.9

My Imprint

My Aunt had posted the other day and this was the picture of her post. Defining my Imprint on the World. As I am spending time reflecting on my word for 2018 this really jumped out at me.

When I created the My Dash blog it was out of a deep desire to define my life and the time God has given me by making a difference, by sharing my experiences and the things I have been through. When I saw this picture and was challenged with changing my perspective it became clear I really need to get back to intentional living. With that I think my word for 2018 will be perspective. I am excited to dive in and see things in a new way.

Snow 2018

Woke this morning to a frigid and winter mess.  We easily have over a foot of snow and in some places from drifting it is closer to 2-3 feet.  Crazy because in this area we just don’t get snow like this.  Our city is frozen in place.  For those that did brave it out there today unless they were in a 4×4 vehicle they were stuck.  We ventured out to rescue our grandson from his great grandmothers home when their power went out.  All in all my husband pulled 11 vehicles from their frozen snowy stuckness. Hot soup, cocoa and warm blankets has filled our afternoon.  Stepping into the new year with a coldness that cuts through to the bone.  They say tonight we will be in the single digits again with wind chill and temp around 10!  As for me I am headed back to the couch with a cuddly 3 1/2 year old, a cup of cocoa with extra marshmallows and a heaping of love.

PERSPECTIVE

perspective

 NOUN A view or prospect. A particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. True understanding of the relative importance of things; a sense of proportion

So lets just say that as I started on this morning I had a list a short mile long of things to do.  Literally 5 things before a 10 AM meeting that I help run.  First stop was 8 AM to drop my son at school.  So it was important that everything go as planned. Sticky note on the dash-board and pencil to check things off as I go.  READY…. sure thing. 

As I pull in to stop 2, Walmart, to get my groceries I can’t seem to get my CHECK IN NOW button on the App to work. ( Should have been my first sign).  I switch over to dial the number on the sign and as I am listening to it ring and ring and ring and ringggggggg out walks a young lady… s l o w l y

Said young lady approaches my driver side window ( it feels like  8 Degrees so I need her to talk fast) and she slowly stammers over her words.  I hear something that resembles your order on the day we are supposed to get a blizzard in a place that gets NO snow and with nothing left on our shelves and 10000 people in the check out lines of which only like 4 are open HAS BEEN CANCELLED.  I blink, take a sip of my Starbucks and say excuse me.  YUP she repeats something that sounds just like what I thought I just heard.  Freezing cold birds chirp, the sun glares off the hood of my jeep that has NO SNOW on it. The sky is barely even showing signs of above mentioned storm.  I took a deep breath and responded as kindly as I can that the money had already left my bank account to pay for an order I was supposed to get 45 mins ago and now I set with no groceries and SHOPPERS Frustration at the thought of fighting some person in the isle over a loaf of bread.  I will save you the 5 minutes of conversation that followed and the manager that walked out and offered me $10 off my next order.  I will tell you I didn’t say any bad words ( I don’t think ” I am a little pissed off” counts / does it??? ) I did take the 800 number for their corporate office that was supposed to have told me at some point that my order was cancelled because of a storm that has yet to arrive.  I drove away. 

Slowly at first and then a little tensely ( not a word I know).

It was about the time I realized I had to figure a way to fit a trip to HELL into my day (AKA the grocery store on the day a blizzard is set to hit a place that gets a flake or two of snow and flips the heck out and causes people to act like they are fighting over their first-born) 

Then I remembered what I was doing before I drove into the Pick up lane to get my groceries hand placed in my nice warm Jeep.  I was praying and spending some time talking to GOD>  Asking him to speak to my heart about my One Word for 2018.  I had been praying over the things that 2017 had shown me and some of the things I was hoping that 2018 would reveal.  It had been a great conversation I had paused to pull up the Walmart Grocery Pick up App.  

Deep Breath- and a ugh.  How quickly I had gotten frustrated over something that is a luxury not a necessity and for things I needed and wanted most of which could wait if truth be told.  I had planned my day to the 15 mins marks but had lost it when it wasn’t quite as I thought it should be.  I saw no snow and just got mad that I was being inconvenienced.  It was then I asked the Lord to really speak to my heart and change my perspective.  To see all sides of something and no react.  It is something I have worked on over the years and gotten so much better at.  Really I have.  It was just in that moment today I realized perspective is needed in every single thing.

I am not sure if that will be my word yet for 2018 but what I am sure of is that GOD isn’t finished with me yet.  That sometimes, all the times, I need to look at life from a different perspective.  From someone else perspective.  

Yes I finished all my errands and appointments and yes I went into the grocery store and picked up my own $145 worth of things.  Wanna know something?  I had the best conversation with 3 different people.  I was IN the moment and in the right place at the right time to share and care and just see things I think I was meant to see. 

Hmmmm… I think I need new glasses