I have all these lofty goals. Projects and plans that, with all the best intentions, I hope to accomplish. Bags of paper and ribbon, thread and needles and cross stitch patterns, scrapbooking supplies and stationary kits. Lots and lots of projects that I can even invision displayed or giving as gifts. I want to spend time reading a book instead of dusting it off. I want to frame the kids art work and hang it on the wall. I want to be still and just do nothing. I want to do some many things but get lost in the choices, the chaos, the “stuff”.
This year with motivation from a friends amazing idea to create a weekend list of things I want to do ( simple enough concept that I should have thought of it myself) I have begun to make some of my piles and collections smaller. Recalling things I have learned and gleaned from accountability and mentors I have begun to unclutter my heart and mind. After quiet time and prayer I am learing to unclutter my soul. However it was after this weekends ladies breakfast and a talk with a lawyer in my office whom I am growing more and more to admire that I realized that regardless of where we are, our station, financial situation, title or career, we get to so easliy caught up in the commerical, politcally correct, keeping up with the Jones’ expectations that “others’ place on what is right or wrong, what matters or doesn’t, what is best for us, what counts. I realized even more as the day progressed that it truley is about transforming! It isn’t about who YOU think I should be. It is really about learning who I am from the one who created me!
So maybe then I should look at the things in my bags and piles differently. Maybe the purpose I orginially had for them wasn’t what they are intended to do now. Maybe I should give myself the freedom to create something new with the pieces that I have now. Maybe I need to relearn and restructure. Maybe there is more then one purpose and maybe todays lesson is learning how to let go.
I know this- but for whatever reason its a head know and not a heart know.
SO as I put away the dishes and check over the homework I realize – I count to much on the wrong things. My choices arent always the best- sometimes they cost me all the wrong things. Too many times I left woundness steal things I cant replace- well actually that is my choice too isnt it.