Finding myself at a loss for words. Well, maybe that is not totally accurate. Finding myself in a place where the words will come out wrong. Or maybe that too isn’t accurate. Maybe it is that the words will come out and sting, burn a little, cause problems, be too harsh, or even too real. So I find myself in a place of withdrawing. It is much safer here, this place I have created. Here, when I say I am doing my best and that right now I can just do what I can and no more, it is not that I do not care, but in this place it is understood. It means that I recognize where you are but where I am can not hold it all. Where I am is already bursting at the seams and where I am fears one more thing could be what sends me to a different place without a return ticket.
So I am finding myself, in a place I thought I would never be again. In a place where I recognize my surroundings as those that will forever change the landscape of my reality. I am finding myself again, at a loss for words…………….