Finding myself at a loss for words…..

Finding myself at a loss for words.  Well, maybe that is not totally accurate.  Finding myself in a place where the words will come out wrong.  Or maybe that too isn’t accurate.  Maybe it is that the words will come out and sting, burn a little, cause problems, be too harsh, or even too real.  So I find myself in a place of withdrawing.  It is much safer here, this place I have created.  Here, when I say I am doing my best and that right now I can just do what I can and no more, it is not that I do not care, but in this place it is understood.  It means that I recognize where you are but where I am can not hold it all.  Where I am is already bursting at the seams and where I am fears one more thing could be what sends me to a different place without a return ticket. 

So I am finding myself, in a place I thought I would never be again.  In a place where I recognize my surroundings as those that will forever change the landscape of my reality.  I am finding myself again, at a loss for words…………….

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