Part of my journey these last few months has been digging into the things that have made me who I am. The hardest part has been the assignments to journal my past – good bad and ugly. In that I have taken a side journey into the power of words. Not just the spoken but the written, and their meanings. Now with meaning I am learning some is intended and some is implied. Regardless, words carry the power of life and death just as scripture speaks.
This journey has been painful, but, if I am honest, that pain has always been there, I have just hidden behind pleasing others, denial in some cases and food in others. Wounded people wound people. I know this. I have been the wounded and the “wounder”.
This journey has not been easy. It has meant a retreat, hurtful at times, though not intended, but extremely necessary as I learn to tread water before I can swim to shore. I am sure on that day, the day when I walk up on the sand and sink into my Heavenly Fathers lap after our long “swim”, on that day I will be made new, renewed even. For until I deal with these wounds, I cannot truly be free.
Forgiveness does not mean allowing someone to hurt you
Foundations: Forgiveness does not mean allowing someone to hurt you
by Tom Holladay Question: Does forgiving someone mean you have to just let them keep hurting you?
Answer: No, it does not. Remember that when God forgives us we still suffer the consequences for those sins. That same principle applies to our relationships with each other.
Let me explain. Forgiving someone’s wrong does not mean that you can’t challenge them to do what is right or that you automatically should begin to trust them to do what is right. Forgiving someone for lying does not mean you have to start believing everything they say. Even though you have forgiven them, it will take them some time to rebuild your trust. That’s the consequence of their sin. Forgiveness is immediate, trust must be rebuilt little by little.
Let me be very clear about this: forgiving someone does not mean that you have to pretend that the sin they committed against you never happened. That would be foolish, and in cases such as physical abuse it could even be life threatening. Forgiveness means that you let go of your feelings of anger and retribution and hatred. It does not mean that you have to allow another person to continually hurt you in the same ways.
Warm breeze and beautiful sunshine! I love me some warm weather. However, not a good idea to leave the office for lunch and then have to acutally go back. Left today and my truck just really wanted a trip to the beach. I was like no truck we will get in trouble but he insisted he would love some sun and sea spray. Alas much to my sadness- grownupness won and back to the office we went. Oh well. However a nice end to my day with some girls from the office and some mexican style relaxation! Nothing like laughter to wash away the day! Thankful tonight for the place I am learning to be in. Thankful for the chance to live love and laugh. I love sunshine and friends- i sol amor y amigos.
Been awhile since I took some time to write. Let us blame it on life. Thought tonight would be a good time to catch up. I started this year not with resolutions but with goals to reflect, change, erase and do over, celebrate, love, and so much more. I wanted to do things that I have wanted to do, learn to savor and really experience. Lots has happened since I started this project, too much to even share and much that I won’t. Great things though are happening amidst the rough things….I am starting college classes again. A chance to learn something new and better ME! Because I CAN and I WANT too. My kids are supportive and awesome! I love that! I am trying new things and sharing in new experiences. Even though the days are rushing by so busy sometimes I forget to eat I am in a new place…or at least on the path to a new place. A place where it is ok to feel and think and be me. Where who I am and how I feel matter. A place where I don’t have to have an answer and even better I can be ok with choosing not to answer. I am in a new place and although I am working on find my balance, I know that in this place I will be ok. Whatever that looks like, regardless of who likes it, I will be ok. And for today that is awesome. Its about steps…steps forward. Steps that are for me, for those I love, for freedom, for healing, for peace. Steps for being the person that I should have been all along. Steps that shake up and cause change. Steps for today that feel amazing.