Archive | July 2011

A New Starting Point

 

Finding a new start point

 

There is a story in the bible of Joshua.  “When Joshua led the nation of Israel across the Jordan River, it was harvest time and the Jordan was at flood stage. As the priests stepped to the water’s edge, suddenly the water from upstream stopped flowing. It piled up in a heap a great distance away and the water flowing downstream was completely cut off. Miraculously the priests stood firm on dry ground while all of Israel passed.

God commanded that each tribe take one stone from the middle of the Jordan and take it with them. They placed the stones in a pile and later, when their children asked, “What do these stones mean?” they were told about the day God supernaturally stopped the flow of the Jordan River.” 

I picked up a stone today, though I am not at the place yet where I can see shore, I know the day will come and at that time I will have this rock and remember God’s supernatural hand in my life.  And as I think about it, over the years every time we go camping or someplace special I have collected rocks, I have a few piles now, as reminders of memories made.  SO this rock is part of a new collection.  It is a new starting point.  A place that has been/is rough and weathering and emotional, a place where, as I put one foot in front of the other, I know that God will see me through and His promises will be fulfilled.  A supernatural thing is happening I can feel it so intensely that it is almost tangible.  SO this rock is a reminder, to be carried until I gather the next rock, a small token to be placed in time in a special spot in my home, so when the time comes and you see my rocks and ask I can share with you the supernatural way my GOD saw me through. 


My story is just beginning as I heal from a small girl to the woman I am now.  Even as I find that woman for really the first time, so much work left to do yet there is a peace that passes all understanding. 

My rock is in my pocket.  Smooth and cool now but once a jagged piece of something much bigger, weathered and fashioned into something new.  A reminder again of where I have come from and of what lays ahead……


Each time my insecurities and injured heart takes me back to a place I have moved on from I can remember truth and apply it and bury those lies and bury that hurt, not in my heart but at this new starting point…I can let this rock be my tangible reminder that I am new , in a new place, moving forward and growing under the tender loving care of a supernatural GOD.

 

Nothing will be the same- I don’t want it to be.  I have nothing to lose in this place.  Laying everything on the dirt and allowing the water to wash away the things that weren’t supposed to be so.  It is another chapter in my journey of defining my dash…

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Just enough for today

 Sitting on the beach this weekend trying to sort through the things that I do not understand. 

 Trying to find some sense of direction.  Trying to remember the turns that led me down this path. 

 Forget trying to put the pieces back together- right now I can not even find them.  

 

As I sat in the sand I watch the families come and go, the young couple with that look of longing, the little children safe in their parents arms.  I watched as sand castles were built and waves crashed in to wash them away.  Picnic lunches were shared,  laughter and music and the sound of crashing waves.  A woman lost in the pages of her book, a man sleeping with out a care in the world, a lost boy trying to find where he misplaced his mom and dad.  The sights and smells of summer.  I couldn’t help but wonder what stories surrounded me.  Could anyone sense my story?  My pain?  Could they see the slow tears streaming down my face?  Could they tell as I waded into the water that I wanted to just be carried away?  Like me, were they too in pain?  I watched the man with the tattoos so dark hold his precious little boy and wondered what had changed his heart.  I watched the man and woman argue, her trying to fight back the tears.  The young boy trying so hard to catch the eye of the princess beside him.  The little one trying to be brave and chase after the baby crab.  They all had a story.  Each wave that washed on shore carried a sense of hope of something new.  They had faith in something….they had to have…..rather something they could see or not see, feel or not feel.  Faith in something bigger than themselves.  Faith to believe in a miracle or to hope for something greater.   I do not have any clue where I am right now, where I am going, and for the most part who I am….but I do know that I have faith….faith that there are new mercies for me each day, that I have a story …. and for today it will be enough to just have