Day 3 of Project 365
I figured as I started my Project 365 I would focus on doing something different each day to make a positive change in one area of my life or another. Today was about making those small changes in several areas. Yesterday I started ready Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. It had been collecting dust on my bookshelf for several months. I was supposed to have participated in a book club and worked through this book over the early fall but, like many other things in my life in 2011, that was pushed aside. So, as I was writing my list of ideas for my Project 365, this book title made it on my list as one to read in 2012. Yesterday was the day. So I began to read Chapter 1 with the intention to read through and check it off my list. Not the plan GOD had.
I came upon a sentence that stopped me. We have all heard the saying “You are what you eat!” Well she says in this book that “we consume what we think about. And what we think about can consume us if we’re not careful.”
I have spent the better (may not be the best word to describe it) part of my life being consumed by feelings and not always good ones. I have struggled with self-worth, acceptance, guilt, fear and so much more. I have turned to many things to fill these voids and “fix” these feelings. I crave something that always seems to be for someone other than me. I was created with this void, this hole, this craving. I was designed with it. However, it was never intended to be filled with food, acceptance, relationships, sex, etc. It was intended to be filled with a loving GOD. It wasn’t meant to harm me or hurt me or lead me astray. It is a craving that GOD alone was intended to fill!
I slipped into some workout clothes today with my family and neighbors in tow and we walked around our neighborhood as snow flakes fell from the sky. As they collected on my shirt and everyone chatted I heard a still small voice. “You see Leslie, out of every snowflake that falls on you today, no one is the same as the other. You are not the same as anyone else. You are not more worthy or less worthy of love and happiness than anyone else. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” I heard Him remind me that this project is about finding myself, finding Him, filling that craving with only thing that fits there: GOD!
I don’t even remember rounding the last road home. I don’t even remember feeling cold. I do remember feeling alive for the first time in a very long time.
I came home and poured this cup of tea and as I sit and read and reflect and share I know it’s about many tiny victories and that battle belongs to the LORD!
Day 3 – a success!