“Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:25-26
Trusting God in the midst of a storm. It has been a theme for me this year. I ended 2011 and started 2012 off unemployed and struggling in several areas. Every fiber of my being wanted to stay deep in depression and despair but I knew there was something greater for me. There had to be. His will for me was not to die in depression and despair. I knew the Lord had been speaking to my heart and I needed to step boldly out in faith and trust God. I needed to put feet to my faith and move. It is a conscious decision I had to make and have to make most days. To keep moving forward, keeping doing the next right thing. Not to let fear and failure and frustration engulf and immobilize me.
There are days I want to give up. Days I don’t want to journal and put words to paper just to see that I am really no further than I was the day before. Those days I read back over where I have been in the last two months. Those days I see the lessons God has shown me even though the clouds have threatened to block out the sun! Those days I see that I am in a better place and I am moving forward. He is faithful on those days to show me the silver lining for the cloud.
So with boldness and faith I am listening and moving. I have sent out several dozen resumes and applications and I am trusting God for direction and a miracle. He knows the desire of my heart and I am asking Him to lead me where He wants me, even if it is out of my “comfort zone”. He knows what I have need of and He has never failed me before. There are fears and worries that I have to cast on Him today. Things that have me bound and threaten to suffocate me if I do not surrender them to the one that never fails. I have broken relationships that need mending. There are hurts and mistakes and wrongs that need to be made right. There is restoration and recovery needed in this place. I have to trust. I must have faith that God has this too! I have to lay these things down and leave them with the Lord. I have to do my part and then rest in Him. Whatever it looks like, He has to be the one in control. He is the only one that can fix the “un-fixable!”
I bought a jar of mustard seed this January. I pulled it out today. I placed in my hand a small seed and reminded myself that this faith can move a mountain.
Moving forward in Faith!
Matthew 17:20 20 “You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”