It is the wee hours of the morning and I can not sleep. I am leaving in a few hours for South Carolina to see my grandparents on my dad’s side with my parents, sisters and niece. My grandfather is battling lung cancer and had a mini stroke this week. He loves the Lord. We are trusting and standing on His promises.
I have much on my mind and after fitful hours in bed decided to give in and get up. I have some broken relationships in my life that need mending. I have some soul-searching to do, some inventory to take, some emotions to check and some counsel to seek. I know what I have done before doesn’t work. I know what I need to do but if I am honest I am struggling with myself there too. For all my knowing I feel so lost. A wash of emotions flood me. I don’t know how I got to this place and at times I lose site of hope that it will ever change.
As I was laying in bed earlier I was overwhelmed. Tears were pouring down my face. I got up for water and sat down to read. This is what I read:
But I will hope continually.
Yes. I am learning to hope. Continually. In the Lord.
This hope, I find, is deeply rooted in praise.
As words of thanksgiving that glorify God flow from my lips, my heart is turned to hope.
My thoughts are shaped steadfastly into hope strings tying together God’s faithfulness.
Praise turns into more praise.
I will praise YOU, O Lord, yet more and more.
In praise there is hope.
Sometimes I feel so lost, like there is no hope. Like I have tried and tried and still am treading water in the same place. If I am doing what I said I was, if I am changing my perspective this year and if I am making the next right choice than my hope has to be in Him. In His faithfulness to see me through, time and time and time again. I have to trust, to hope that doing the right things will bring me to the place He wants me to be.
I am going to spend some time in praise now and rediscover hope!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4zghTKEOX8 is the link to “My Hope” Worship Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZYPfYe77PA&feature=related is the link to “With All I Am” Worship Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SELqUWpQQm4&feature=related is the link to “Through It All” Worship Song