Day 67 Project 365
I have been considering my dash this last few days more than ever. My dash, the space between the day that I was born and the day the Lord will call me home. I have been looking back and doing a lot of thinking about my moments. Is a life defined by a series of large events that when placed together create the timeline of our lives? Or could it be that life really isn’t about those big moments as much as it is about the little seemingly insignificant moments that when strung together truly define who we are, our dash.
Over the last few months and weeks I have struggled with letting go of the moments I can not change. Letting go of guilt and regret and learning to live now doing the next right thing. Letting go of the hurts and wrongs and resentments. To live in this moment instead of trying to live now pulling my past into my present as if it would change it.
I read an article titled Present Living by John Kuypers that talks about the moments in our lives:
“Everything good and everything bad that ever happened in our lives happened in a single moment. When we make school, career and life decisions that affect us for the rest of our lives, we are aware at the time of their significance, of their risk and of the consequences if we make a poor decision. And then we make the decision as best as we can, and face whatever may come thereafter. However, the longer I live, the more I realize that it is not just the few and mighty moments that define us. It is not just who we decide to marry, what career we decide to follow, whether we have a child or not, whether we face a life threatening illness or traumatic situation. Indeed, the moment is much bigger than that. It is in the moment that we act and react. It is in the moment that we decide to pay attention to our children, respond to our subordinates and go home on time rather than work late at the office. It is in the moment that we decide to be honest about how we feel, or hide our truth. It is in the moment that we notice something is funny or take it as an angry and serious event. It is the moment that leaves us elated or depressed. Do these moments also define us? Does it matter when we forget someone’s name or lose track of something we value? Does it matter when we finish a conversation feeling bad about how it went, or when we snap back at somebody out of anger? Does it matter when we exaggerate our accomplishments just a little, to impress someone? Most of us would say not. A man who heads a cancer hospice in San Francisco was recently on the Oprah Winfrey show. He spoke poignantly of the only two questions every dying patient has on their mind at the end. Was I loved? Did I love well? If these are the last two questions of life, then perhaps it is not the big moments that define us, but rather the little moments. Perhaps there is no such thing as a little moment. Perhaps there are only moments that matter. Can we be prepared for the moments that matter? I argue yes! I argue that when a person is fully present, unburdened by the mistakes of yesterday and free from the worries of what might happen tomorrow, that person is ready for the moments that matter on this day. All of their mind, heart, body and soul is available to know and do what’s right for them, with confidence and conviction. When we are in the present, we are the best we can be, no matter how inadequate that may later prove to be. We act out of love and we make wiser choices. We know what we want, and we do not make choices designed to influence others or hurt others. We do what we do for our own reasons. We are true to who we really are. We follow our inner spirit because that’s who we are, not because someone will be impressed or affected. When we are this way, fully present, fully true to ourselves, we are capable of loving another person for who they are, not for who we want them to be. Then we can live knowing we have loved well. Then we give ourselves the opportunity to be loved in return. And if that doesn’t happen, we have done everything we could in the moments that life gave us – the moments that matter.”
I learned something amazing this weekend. I learned the power of letting go. Letting go and learning to live. To take those moments that happen all day long and make those moments matter. To not just look at the big but the little and see the significant in the small things. To listen to the things the Holy Spirit is speaking to me and to walk boldly because it is what I am called to do. To make the most of every opportunity and leave no room for regret. I have been set free. I am more so much more than I ever saw myself as. It isn’t about what I have done but what has been done for me. And my brokeness brought me to the place of complete surrender and I am free.
Making the most of every moment………..YOU ARE MORE (by Tenth Avenue North)