It is early. The sun is just starting to make its way up. Out my window the dark has been cracked with hues of red, orange and yellow. The sun is on his way.
I am hopeful that today will be a great day. I have cinnamon rolls in the oven for my boys and a fresh pot of coffee is brewing. Hubby is out the door to work and for a few more moments the house is quiet.
As my journey has been unfolding these past few months a lot of what I have been dealing with is on relationships. My relationship to God, to myself and to others. To take it a step further it has been about me stepping out of relationships partially and all together as well. It has been about forgiveness and release of control. There has been a lot of tearing down of strongholds and idols and walls that I built in an effort to protect myself. By no means has this been easy. Then again the last few years have not been easy. I knew going in if I didn’t surrender to this process and to the Lord I wouldn’t make it. So as I take the next right step each day, or at least attempt to, I have had to learn to do it with a changed perspective, placing one foot in front of the other regardless of what I see or do not see. I am learning my validation can not come from people. I am learning that I must place my hope and my life and my all in all in the hands of my living loving God. I have cried and laughed and screamed and hollered. I have experienced healing and hurt. Life has been hard and happy all at the same time. Much has happened in this season of winter in my life. I have great memories I have made this past few months. Miracles have happened. There are things I am still trusting God for completely. There is much to still be accomplished on this journey. I am not as far along in some areas as I would like yet in others I am pacing ahead.
Now it is time for spring. A time for building back up. It is a time for new life. For the little tiny sprouts of green to poke through the cold hard ground. There are so many new things that are happening and so many more new things that are needed. It is time to build things up. Myself! Vision! Passion! Ministry! Relationships! Life! People! It is time to speak life into the dead places.
As I seek the Lord for my life I do not want things to go back to the way they used to be. I want something new. I want new vision, a new me, new relationships, a new perspective, a new way of doing things. The old way didn’t work. Good parts mixed yes but still it didn’t work. I want to be completely free from my past and move forward with purpose.
Yesterday I was reminded that although God is doing a new work in me not everyone will come along for the ride. I have to continue to surrender those situations and relationships to the Lord but do my part as well to build up these as well. I am not promised that all will be smooth and perfect. There is no guarantee that everything will fall into place and that all will be well. Yet I am promised that as I surrender my will in exchange for His that He will never fail and that He will make all things new.
Photo by NationalGeographic