I know that nothing I have gone through or am going through or will go through is because my Heavenly Father has forsaken me. That is a truth I know for a fact. I have never found myself doubting Him or His love for me.
I was asked today how I have been doing it when not much as changed and things are still hard. I explained that my eyes are fixed firmly on who GOD is and the truths He has placed in my heart. In the times I want to look at the things around me, to my left and to my right, I quickly take my thoughts captive and focus on the things I know to be true.
100 days in to this journey I have to say I am overcome with a joy and a peace that passes all understanding. I am seeing every day the hand of God in my life and on my family. There is much to be done still but there is now joy in this journey.
And though the enemy has tried on several occasions to sidetrack me he has been defeated- defeated that day long ago upon the cross.
I have learned some amazing lessons over these past 100 days and now I know to:
Drop what I clinch in my hands- Surrender control. Let things go. Especially the things I have taken owernership of that aren’t even mine in the first place.
Learn truth, apply it, tie it around my neck and write it on my heart- weave through out my day worship, the word, quiet, prayer.
Forgive, and when I think I have forgiven, forgive again. It’s not about the one that has wronged me it is about me- I have to do the next right thing. Even when they never ever ask for forgiveness and continue to spitefully use me. Forgive and forgive and forgive again. That includes forgiving myself. The hardest thing for me to do sometimes. Applying truth here has saved my life.
See myself as I am- I am NOT my sin, shortcomings, past, mistakes. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, inside and out and I am not defined by the worlds standards.
Pursue my purpose- I, like everyone reading this, was created and designed with a purpose and a plan and I am to pursue that with a passion. I am created and called by name, knit together in my mother’s womb and I am worth it! There is a passion inside me and I am pursuing that daily, one next right step at a time.
I have new eyes to see- things are so much clearer now. And I have spiritual eyes to see anew. That is exciting – to have those moments where the Lord just shows me clearly what something really is.
It may not seem like much has changed to some but SO much really has! I have changed. How I see my world has changed. I have some important relationships that have changed. I have experienced healing and freedom that I have longed for, for so many years. I have set boundaries and started taking care of me and standing up for me. I know who I am and what I am worth. I am so FREE!
I am NOT who I was! I am so FREE!