Reflecting

Day 121 Project 365

Examining myself and my character and seeking ways to improve.  Tomorrow 2012 will be 1/3rd of the way complete.  There is a lot I still have left to accomplish and learn this year.

I have received emails and comments over the past 121 days and want to share this:

I do not think for a moment anyone “arrives”.  Life happens every day, regardless of who you are, your economic or social standing, the color of your skin or any  other physical thing.  Whether you have a walk with the Lord or not.  Life isn’t always easy.  It takes a concentrated effort to look past the negative and hurtful and actually learn from it and move on.  Waiting on someone else to do their part is not part of the plan. It leads to more hurt and disappointment.  People will fail you and let you down because we are all human.  I have to make the most of what I have right now.  If I wait for the right timing it might never come.  I am learning that everyone is entitled to their opinion, EVEN ME!  If that makes someone else uncomfortable well then that is too bad, I will not apologize for doing what is right for me or speaking my mind or changing the people, places and things in my life so that I can have a life.  I am not sorry for my feelings or for taking a stand.  I try very hard to own what is mine to own as I know it usually takes two.  I do my best to make amends where I need to.  I will not be a scapegoat, entertain blame or forgiveness.  I have learned that we each can do something different each day to impact change in our world and daily situations.  Trust me, there are days when the thought crosses my mind to just quit.  To crawl in bed and sink back into depression because it is pointless.  It is in those moments I quickly start listing the good things I now know, the truths I have written on my heart, the memories I now have because I didn’t give up.  It is still hard at times and it might just continue to be.  There are still things that are a daily struggle.  The change in those things has been my mind-set and my attitude.  It is what I make the choice to do about it that is different.  Also important to me has been realizing that just because something is good doesn’t mean it is best and just because someone is in my life doesn’t mean I have to allow them to mistreat me and I will go as far at to say this, just because they are in my life doesn’t mean they should be.  Learning that I have a voice and how to use it has been life changing this past 121 days.  So tonight as I look ahead to the next 1/3 of this year I am thankful for a God that loves me, a family that is supporting me and the friends that never failed me and saw the real me.  I can no longer own the rejection or ill spoken words of those that do not get it.  I am sorry that you can’t see how things have effected me and my kids.

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