Ever have the moments when something has just happened and is over and you are like what in the world just happened?
Couldn’t sleep tonight. (The trade-off lately for being pain-free is insomnia)
As I was laying in bed I was playing over a conversation and situation in my head that has been playing out more frequently as of late. I realized that I am not reflecting my true self in my responses and in my attitude. I was quick to realize that I am trying to control a situation and though my intentions are good I have to step back. Sometimes we can see something is wrong and we can see the solution to fix the problem. We might even see others getting mistreated and taken advantage of. The hard part for me comes when that person is content (seemingly) to stay in that situation. It is in those moments I have to guard my attitudes and my actions and my responses. It is great to stand beside someone in battle however if they are just going to stand there and not defend themselves what I am doing? It is the life of a good co-dependant and that is not what I am trying to be.
I realized something else in the quiet of my room.
I have a little boy chihuahua. He weighs about 4 lbs and he is pretty intense. He was abused and he isn’t always the most friendly. We have to calmly introduce him to new people and even sometimes us. His first response is to be on attack because of his past experiences.
I have been behaving the same way in some situations. I have grown and I am in new situations but I still have that same knee jerk reaction my little dog does and that sure can make it hard to be working on any relationship sometimes.
On that note a challenge awaits me later today.
My part is simple. Do what is asked of me and serve with a smile and as unto the Lord. Then walk away. Not assume nor imply.
Lord, help my conversations, action and attitudes to be pleasing to you. Help my responses not stir up strife. Help me as I get back to the person I was created to be. Open the eyes of my heart Lord. Open the eyes of my heart.
“Above All Else, Guard Your Heart, For Everything You Do Flows From It” Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)