Mirror Mirror

Day 159 Project 365

Over the course of the last few days and especially the last 12 hours I am reminded of the many faces of addiction.  I am reminded that it is no respecter of persons and that addiction isn’t just about drugs and alcohol.  I am reminded of the face of addiction that brings a person to entertain the idea of abuse, not just physical but emotional and psychological and verbal.  As I look back over the story of my life I see clearly now my own hurt “little girl” who longed so desperately to be loved that she settled.

When you look in the mirror you see yourself.  Sometimes that reflection brings happiness, self-confidence and joy.  Other times it brings shame, frustration, low self-esteem and a flood of other negative emotions.  When we start to learn to see ourselves as we really are, as GOD sees us, as He created us to be, the reflection in the mirror becomes more like TRUTH instead of the lies we come to believe.

Then there is the reflection we see when we are around others and the mirror they hold up for us.  When I am around my kids I see myself and my reflection one way.    Around my husband I see yet another reflection.  He sees me as beautiful and attractive, I see something very different so I have had to learn to accept how he sees me and say thank you.  I am learning.  Step to the left and confronted with a negative relationship in my life I see a very different reflection. Instantly the reflection back may leave me struggling for air or worse yet trying to undo those lies I thought I had settled long ago.  Too many times I let unhealthy thoughts creep in or in certain relationships I change how I feel and who I am to try to please.   Again, it is in these times that we must apply TRUTH.  Just as important is realizing that these people all have issues they bring into our space.  The way we see the world and those around us and they way we govern ourselves is all a direct result of our live experiences, good, bad or otherwise.  So when faced with the reflection of myself that others are casting or my past is casting or the lies of the enemy is casting I must stand strong.  I must put on the full armor of GOD and know the TRUTH.  For the TRUTH will set me free.

The relationship that is sick and fractured and has never changed and has always been abusive is exactly what it reflects itself to be.  Nothing I can do or say will change that.  It isn’t a true reflection of me.  It is what it is.  I have to be very careful to guard my heart and not let those reflections, those tugging of my heart, those hurts and fears and feelings and chaos to draw me into a lie.

MIRROR MIRROR on the wall- you really don’t define me at all!

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