One of the most dangerous (yet effective) prayers I have ever prayed is Lord, whatever it is just show me. Expose whatever it is and let me not be fooled or misled. Bring into the light the things done in the dark. Strip away the junk and let me see clearly. Whatever it is just have your way. I no longer care what it takes. Just please do what needs to be done.
Over the years that pray has sure exposed some pretty serious stuff. It has resulted in some major changes, sifting, pain and growth. It has led to tears and great triumphs as well.
This week I began praying this same prayer. Whatever IT is IT is there. I can sense it but not touch it. It is the knowing without really knowing. That is the part I can not stand.
So for today I pray. I surrender that He has it under control. He has too.
I am tired and weary and I am no longer willing to fight. Not physically, not emotionally and not mentally and the spiritual battle, well that belongs to the Lord.
There isn’t much in my life that is not under attack right now.
I lay across my bed almost daily crying out I am DONE. I completely surrender and then I get up, wipe my face and move on about my day. It isn’t easy. To be honest, it SUCKS.
I am not quitting. I am not hiding. I am surviving. I am hoping and I am believing that there will be light in the darkness. There will be truth and there will be victory.
So for today I pray.