I sat shivering wishing you could really “freeze your butt off” last night at the ball game watching my son play and lost in complete thought, so much so that four innings passed and I couldn’t even tell you the first thing about the game.
I am lost, lost in this thing that is happening inside my brain and in my heart. I am lost but so amazingly found. I wish I could explain it. Call it what it is yet I can not. It is for ME. Right now it is completely for me. The best part, I am okay with that. I am finding a peace and a sense of purpose in just knowing that what it is is a gift. A gift I have needed for a very long time. One I don’t have to try to figure out or make fit into some particular space. It is not about the rightness or wrongness or the why’s or how come’s. It is just about being freed. Freed from a long time hold that has kept me accepting things that I never should. It is another step in the right direction, unconventional maybe but it is amazingly wonderfully liberating.
I know another vague blog that is totally going to make no sense to must but for me it is penning words to this exciting feeling. There is power in the written word and when it does nothing but set you free to fly that is totally okay. I need this space. I need this today to free my mind and move throughout all the things I need to accomplish with an amazing sense of newness and belonging.
So for today I am feeling more alive then I think I ever have before. Everything looks different, most importantly I look different. It is as if my senses are completely new. How amazing this new sense of passion and purpose, desire and strength is becoming. It is moving me, in so many ways, spoken and unspoken, seen and very private.
Amazing when things fall into place, nothing is by accident. Not the people or timing or circumstances that touch our lives.
Being set free……..