This is not the end

Day 366 Project 365
Yes I know, when I started this project I missed the fact there are 366 days in this year.
Today ends the 2012 Project but stay tuned for tomorrow. It is a new day with new direction, new stories, new inspiration.
This year ends with much to be thankful for. I gained a beautiful new daughter and family as Nik and Amanda were joined in marriage in a beautiful beach wedding. I graduated my precious Kristopher and watched as he has continued to grow into a wonderful young man and has ventured out into his own space and a new job. I have watched as my Kody has grown and purchased his first car and has taken on the role of my protector, always making sure I have what I need, that I am okay and making sure to tell me he loves me all the time. Brett has stretched a foot and is changing all the time. He challenged himself this year with wrestling and sticking with it hasn’t always been easy but I am proud of him for trying something new. He has learned some really grown up lessons this year and it is a joy to my heart he isn’t too big for a good cuddle with me. My darling Karissa is more beautiful than ever and this year has been challenging for me as a mom to watch her spread her wings and fly. The one thing I am sure of is this, with all my kids, their foundation and faith will guide. I got a new car and became a grandmomma to 4 little chihuahua puppies. I watched way too many baseball games and eat way too many hot dogs. I helped with laundry and my house became a grocery store. I washed cars and helped pick out new ones. I watched my old bug ride the tow truck more times than I can count. I laughed during family times and cried too. I reconciled with my grandfather before he went to see his Jesus and will cherish those memories forever. I found some wonderful new friends and reconnected with some I had not seen in years. I let go of somethings that were weighing me down. I took a step towards health this fall and dropped about 60 lbs. Still more to go but a quiet start in a great direction. I am in a better place then when I started a year ago too. I have shaken off the heavy bands and tore down some serious walls. Where there is so much left to be done I know this, I have a voice now and I matter now and I no longer have to worry about what makes everyone else happy, sad or mad. I also get to consider those things for me. I get to be me. I am by far perfect. I try to I do my best. Others might not see it as such, may not know me or my heart or my intentions. Maybe they find the need to judge me or read between the lines or try to find some hidden meanings to my look or tone or …..whatever. Yet I am learning. I am learning to humbly approach my life with a sense of purpose, to seek direction from the ONE that already knows the plan, to admit when I am wrong and to never give up. To look back only to learn, to pull forward the memories that bring strength and love and to push forward boldly and never give up.


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