Part of gaining a new perspective and peace for me is in realizing when I am empty.
Not quite sure why I wait til the red line hovers dangerously close to the E but I do. I hate stopping to fill up. I will wait and push my luck repeatedly.
Same holds true for me in my daily life. It is usually with the best of intentions. Checking off all the daily and weekly responsibilities one by one. I will run full speed, going through the motions the same today as yesterday and then get to the E and realize I have nothing left to give. Sometimes that E finds me turning mountains in to mole hills. I wind up at a place where one thing happens and I find 10 more wrong. I unload , flip out, frazzled, tired and frustrated and sometimes there are innocent victims. It could be something as small as a cup on the table that has set there all day or I get news that feels like a sucker punch to the gut. It doesn’t matter what it is. I am EMPTY. I have nothing in my tank to even allow me to handle whatever it is that is coming my way. All the things I know to be true when I am full have slipped to the back of my mind and I am on vapors, on fumes.
This year I started back to taking time each morning, no phone, no TV, no interruptions to recharge. I have gotten back to not just a quick devotional but a time of drawing near and pressing in. We went back to church to fuel our tank. I have reevaluated some of the things and relationships that have sucked me dry. I am seeking out some Me time and activities to nurture and nourish myself, my relationship with my husband and my family. I am remember that when I draw near to HIM I am filled up. When I run my day through HIM I find fullness of joy, grace, mercy, hope and peace. I can take the many things that surround me and deal for in a full tank their is possibility. There is peace of mind.
I have learned this lesson before and let my tank run dry. Unless I want today to be like those empty days when I have nothing to offer and can’t see my way out then I need to do something different. Each day. Yesterdays fill is not enough for today. I need to fill up- Spiritually. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Creatively.