Tag Archive | journal

Power

I saw this picture on my friends Facebook page the other day and was moved. Here in the midst of these mighty waves stands the light house.  To me it speaks to the things the Lord has been showing me, to pursue peace by right perspective.  To keep my eyes on Him.  A thousand or more correct choices a day.  Persistent choices.  Purposeful choices. No matter the storms that are ranging around me or just life full of its diversions and distractions.    He is not merely a temporary retreat.  If I take where I am right now and see it through His eyes, knowing that in this place is something I need to learn.  I need to be attentive to keep my focus and perspective.

In this place I find peace regardless of the waves that crash around me.

He is my lighthouse

Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength,
always ready to help in times of trouble.
2 So we will not fear when earthquakes come
and the mountains crumble into the sea.
3 Let the oceans roar and foam.
Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge! Interlude
4 A river brings joy to the city of our God,
the sacred home of the Most High.
5 God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed.
From the very break of day, God will protect it.
6 The nations are in chaos,
and their kingdoms crumble!
God’s voice thunders,
and the earth melts!
7 The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
the God of Israel[b] is our fortress. Interlude
8 Come, see the glorious works of the Lord:
See how he brings destruction upon the world.
9 He causes wars to end throughout the earth.
He breaks the bow and snaps the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
10 “Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world.”
11 The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
the God of Israel is our fortress.

Pause

pause

In just one pause, one deep breath, one slow down there can be peace.

….And just like that a few days slip past and I am absorbed back into the chaos and perspective and peace are in my rear view mirror.  Lesson number one for me today- relationships doesn’t take the weekend off.  Lesson number two in direct line with lesson number one- I need to stay dialed in to my pursuit of perspective and peace by staying dialed in to my relationship with God.  Lesson number three- my days are filled with me, an imperfect person, moving through an imperfect world, surrounded by other imperfect people doing less then imperfect things so why expect anything less?

I must keep my perspective on the things that matter- on GOD.  On the one perfect in my imperfect life.  Things seem great I must trust Him.  Things are falling apart I must trust Him.  Its a lazy Saturday afternoon I must trust Him.  Its a world wind Monday I must trust Him.  When my bonus is big I must trust Him. When I don’t know how we will make it through I must trust Him.

I have to build in the pause.  I have to build it in as I start my day and every hour of every day because life is going to through me crap, curve balls, distractions and sometimes even good ones.  I have to have those 10 second windows built in to remember HE is perfect.  To see things through Him.  To ask. To wait. To listen.  To hear.  It is not about my circumstances but about my reactions, about my right responses and the ONLY place I will find those is in the Pause- in the Purposeful Perspective that comes with Peace.

So as I am hurrying to do something last night that was good but not necessary, as I missed my exit and back tracked around, as I walked in to just turn around and walk out, as I grumbled the first 1o minutes of my ride back home I heard that small voice. ” Not everything that is good is worth it and did you even take a moment to pause today?”

Ps 73 21-28

21 Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
    and I was all torn up inside.
22 I was so foolish and ignorant—
    I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
23 Yet I still belong to you;
    you hold my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
    leading me to a glorious destiny.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
    I desire you more than anything on earth.
26 My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
    but God remains the strength of my heart;
    he is mine forever.

27 Those who desert him will perish,
    for you destroy those who abandon you.
28 But as for me, how good it is to be near God!
    I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter,
    and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.

Ok to Choose

goodbetterbest

So if you know me at all you know I love to bake and every single Christmas I bake.  A LOT!  From Frosted sugar cookies to fudge, Santa surprises to chocolate covered pretzels.  Probably about a dozen various special treats and gift them to my family, friends and neighbors (and help my husband need gift exchange because he gained another pant size.)   This past holiday season I did not bake.  Nope. Not one single treat and let me tell you, you would have thought I committed the unpardonable sin.

Let me explain.

The last quarter of 2015 I realized something I have never grasped before (or maybe held so loosely too I let it slip away).  Everything that is good is not profitable.  Everything that I like to do and want to do is not always what is best. I can’t do everything.  Not everything is meant for me to do.

I tried to go full steam ahead, do all the things I think are expected of me and all the things I need to do, all the things other people should be doing and find time for the things I love then I burn myself out.  Add to that being in a desert place spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally and you have a recipe for a meltdown.  I was at capacity and on empty and realized very clearly that if I added one more thing I would be in trouble.

So I choose wisely.

I realized that the things I had no control over were out of control and the things I could control I needed to reevaluate for importance.  The cookies, a few parties, decorating, projects around the house, extra activities I hoped to do- all made the cut.

The cookies was the biggest thing.  I found myself apologizing. I cried. I felt like I was letting everyone down in falling to make this holiday tradition happen.  I mean as silly as it is now because everyone did survive without Christmas cookies (to hear my husband you would think he lost a limb and was starved to death).  The moment at which I came to the realization that to make the cookies meant sacrificing being able to stand up without excruciating pain in my knee, meant giving up sleep my frazzled mind and body desperately needed, meant letting down my kids and my husband and my poor neighbor who starts asking at Thanksgiving when I will start baking, I realized something.  In that moment I realized growth. Growth in that I put what was best for me before what was good and everyone made it out alive.  I put what was needed before what was wanted.

May not sound like a big deal but to me this is huge. I live in the place of making everyone else happy.  Not because they require it but because I do.  I have always been a Martha and I needed a Mary moment. I need to be still (well as still as I could be) and I needed to catch my breath, to eat someone else’s cookies, to be quiet and boring and rest and miss those parties. I needed to not second guess my saying No and rest in my right to choose.

Too often I get lost in the “must’s” and the “think I should’s”.  Simple answer as to why:  because I lost perspective and peace.  I stopped seeking the plan for my day in a quiet and still moment with my maker. I started borrowing from what could happen and what should happen instead of living in what was happening and allowing it to.  I filled my time with stuff- necessary or not.

Now in setting limits, expressing your needs and making clear boundaries, in choosing, sometimes others are offended. Sometimes they see it as your feelings are more important than theirs.  For me that is not what it was about at all. It was for me and continues to be because I have been to the bottom and I know what it feels like to not choose and loose myself, almost completely and finally.

What a freedom there is in living IN today. Taking moment by moment.  I am sure I sound like a broken record but there is peace and taking it as it comes and trusting and resting that my steps are order, when I have HIS perspective on my day.

choices

 

Mary and Martha
38-40 As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.”
41-42 The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”

*Disclaimer:  No innocent husbands were hurt in the process. My sister saved the day and made sure his waist line didn’t miss out on cookies and that there was a plate for Santa*

 

Attitude of Adventure

adventure

noun an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity.
verb engage in hazardous and exciting activity, especially the exploration of unknown territory.
Very rarely have I woke up in the  morning thinking, “wow, what adventure awaits me today!”  If I am honest any adventure in my day usually had something to do with Dora the Explorer and now since the kids are grown/growing its the grand babies world of Minnie and Elmo.  Adventure is not necessarily how I see my day.
Enter the end of 2015 and start of 2016 when I resolved not to resolve.  I decided to take it moment by moment with a bent towards doing small manageable goals that for once are sustainable and obtainable.  In a world where I love to make lists and check off and get things done I can easily map out my day and miss a lot of what has happened.  I recognize that going through the motions even if a result is achieved is not always best.  Then there are the days since I started this new outlook that I feel like giving up.  Yet I am reminded again today to change my VIEW- my perspective.  To take each day as an adventure carefully planned out my guide.
Jesus Calling devotion today reads like this:

-Jesus Calling Devotion For January 13-
Try to view each day as an adventure, carefully planned out by your Guide. Instead of staring into the day that is ahead of you, attempting to program it according to your will, be attentive to Me and to all I have prepared for you. Thank Me for this day of life, recognizing that it is a precious, unrepeatable gift. Trust that I am with you each moment, whether you sense My Presence or not. A thankful, trusting attitude helps you to see events in your life from My perspective.

A life lived close to Me will never be dull or predictable. Expect each day to contain surprises! Resist your tendency to search for the easiest route through the day. Be willing to follow wherever I lead. No matter how steep or treacherous the path before you, the safest place to be is by My side.

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
—Psalm 118:24

To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
—1 Peter 2:21

What a great 13 days of 2016. Each day has been full of adventure- highs and lows a like.  And I have been trusting and thankful, living my days closer to Him that sustains me and has never failed me.  My trust is in HIM, my hope is in HIM.  Listen my life has NEVER been dull.  Like everyone, it is always something, but I am promised that this is the day HE made and He will direct my steps when I recognize that today is a day he made, a precious gift that once lived is gone.  When I take every moment and every interaction and see it through His eyes it really does change me and change the results of my day.
Welcome Wednesday- lets get this adventure started…………

Do the 1 thing

be who So I had a total different plan for my blog this morning.  Each morning I spend some time in the word and read a few devotions that have ministered to me over the years.  I just love it when the words for the day are so intertwined and link together.  When the word just leaps off the page and penetrates my soul.  After some time in the word this morning I opened up my Proverbs 31 email to read today’s devotion and wow-

“God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’” Job 37:5-6 (NIV) – See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/#sthash.8tA9L5y8.dpuf

Today’s devotion is about being who God created you to be.  A common theme maybe but as I have spent the last few months trying to find my place, own my own stuff and find a way to define what I need and where I stand and my direction, today really ministered to my heart.  The devotion goes on to say:

“So God says to the snow, “Fall on the earth.” That’s it. Just do one thing. Just fall. And then He says to the rain shower, “Be a mighty downpour.” Essentially, He’s saying: Just do the thing I’ve actually created you to do. You’re rain … so rain. You’re snow … so snow.

I love the simplicity of that, the tremendous weight it takes off my shoulders. God’s asking me to be the thing He’s already created me to be. And He’s asking you to be the thing He’s already created you to be.

He doesn’t tell the snow to thaw and become rain, or the rain to freeze itself into snow. He says, essentially: Do your thing. Do the thing you love to do, what you’ve been created to do.”

JUST DO THE THING!  If I am snow then snow.  If I am rain then pour down!  I have reread this a dozen times.  With tear stained cheeks I realize that yet again I get so lost in all the expectations and seemingly necessary stuff that I end up dancing to a song I created instead of the play list He set apart for me.  Yes, there are things I must do but, when and why did I stop JUST DOING THE THING?  I let too many other things define me.  I get stuck in a Martha habit when a Mary heart is sometimes needed.  Oh my goodness I am moved today, moved to rediscover and redefine and reignite.  I am excited that though this word wasn’t written just for me today it found me right when I needed to be pushed to the next level.  Right when I needed to define the next moment by moment thing for today!  Right when I needed to JUST DO THE THING!

With great anticipation I step boldly……….

Spring up with Gratitude

spring-flowers-wallpapers-41

It has been a long cold winter.  Some how those days of freezing  temps and piles of dirty white stuff shoved up along the sides of the road had managed to change people.  Change me!  Winter is not always the easiest time of year.  We come off the holidays full of expectations and hustle and bustle. We spend time with people we may not have seen since the last holiday.  We set expectations or have them impressed upon us.  Then we move into the resolution part of the year. With cold and now and new year do’s and do not’s to accomplish goals we should have been striving for all year through, we walk into a new year hopefully optimistic or is it prepping for disappointment? Either way, the cold dogs days of winter have a tendency to zap us of our joy and gratitude attitude.  We lose sight. I lost sight.  I can easily get lost in the stuff of life that I forget the things I am grateful for. I forget that if I turn my sights off those things I start to see the dirty piles of snow instead of seeing the sun through the clouds.

This weekend I had a 3 day re group session.  Half way through I realized I could have used a 6 day and that is when it hit me.  Where I slipped back into old patterns is when I stopped seeing and being grateful for the small steps, the little things, and in some cases the big things.  They are there it is just sometimes we sell out to the easier to grumble then be grateful band wagon. I don’t think we plan to. I know I didn’t.  Yet here I am, there I was.

So with that! I grabbed out my gratitude journal.  I dusted of the Word.  That I sometimes pull out  but have not daily been partaking, to dust off the corners of my mind and re arrange the furniture of my heart.  To redirect and refresh and erase the statistic lines that were being written as yet another year threatened to beg for failed resolutions and expectations.  The proverbial white towel?  Just as I was about to throw it in I started to clean.  My heart, my mind, my house.  With each wipe I realized, this is where I win.  This is where I take the things that have always (see there I go), that used to distract me and not just pack them away put throw them away.

A new throw pillow here.  Lighter brighter painting here.  A little burst of color here and a little more there.

It is in the placement of those things for which I am grateful that I can change the color of my day.  The content of my mind will cause a change in the out put of my mouth resulting in a change in the out put of my life.  It is in the changing of my thoughts that I create a new day. For as I reminded myself this weekend, I am what I eat.  Figuratively and literally.  5 things of gratitude a day mean 5 positive things of attitude which means 5 more right choices, 5 more ah ha moments, 5 more memories, 5 more minutes of living a life that I was designed to life.

I got this.

Probably won’t but I should

rainy dayDay 32 Project 365

Been awhile since I did more than a quick post from my phone. Though I am actually logged in tonight I am not quite in a place where I am ready to really write. I am recovering from feeling like death warmed over and still not myself. I am exhausted and emotionally feel like I have been ran over. I can’t quite explain that either. I mean I can, but, I probably won’t. I am stuck and feeling like I am going through motions. I know what I would like to do, but, I probably won’t. On that note I need to go back to some basics. Some things I know pull me out of this place. I need a new direction. I need ………to catch my breath!